My Best Advice to Give My Younger Self

April 10, 2024

As I’ve gotten older I often look back on my younger years to see my growth. I was by no means perfect and trust me when I say I have changed, as I should.

Heyyy boo!!

My youngers years took a lot of time and patience to grow me into who I am today. A lot of times when I’m reminiscing I really wish I knew then what I know now. Boy wouldn’t life have been more smooth! So if I could go back in time here are a few things I would love to tell myself.

10 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self

Love on YOU more.

I spent a lot of time trying to make sure that I was good enough to fit in. I wanted to be good enough to be liked. I also spent some time wishing I was different in a lot of ways. But I should have spent that same amount of time loving on myself and building myself up. My self-esteem would have been better. My self-confidence would have been better. And I would have made better choices when it came to my worth.

Give yourself some grace.

I’m sure you’ve heard this saying a million times, “everyone makes mistakes”. But it is so true! Everyone does. I can’t tell you how many mistakes I have made in my life. Mistakes shape us into who we are. Now a mistake is not constantly repeated, that’s more of a choice. A mistake is something you learn from, get value out of and change the outcome of next time. Be kind to yourself. You are growing and learning. You won’t know it all. You are not supposed to know it all. Don’t be so hard on yourself because you didn’t do something right. Show yourself that it’s okay and keep it moving.

Don’t worry, breathe.

I dealt with a ton of anxiety growing up. I was constantly worried about something. I remember so many times when my anxiety would be out of wack. It was especially worse at night when I was supposed to be going to sleep. There were nights when I didn’t think I would wake up the next morning because my heart was beating so fast. Worry and anxiety would paralyze me sometimes and it made me socially awkward. Looking back, there was truly no need for all the worrying. Inhale. Exhale. Release.

Stay close to those who love you and have your best interest.

I shut everyone out at one point in my life. True story! I didn’t want anyone close to me. I even quit going around people that I loved because I was rebellious and wanted to do what I wanted to do! Truthfully, all I had to do was talk to someone and let someone in that I knew loved me. Hold tight to your tribe and do not let them go.

It’s okay to talk about how you feel.

Going through changes from preteen to teenager to young adult brings forth a lot of emotions. And triple that when you also have anxiety. It is very important to have someone that you can talk to, vent with. Whether that be a close friend, mentor, counselor, or just someone you trust. Find your person and let it out. I understand that some things are embarrassing to talk about, aloud, but be truthful and release what is weighing you down. I guarantee it would have relieved me from so much worry. It’s okay to let others in.

You can say NO.

If it doesn’t feel right, say no! If it does not bring out the best in you, say no! If he or she is wanting to move a little fast, say no! It’s okay to tell your friends no. It’s okay to tell your family no. Especially if it makes you uncomfortable or you have to sneak and do it! If it doesn’t feel like you, say no. It is so important that when you are with your people that you take a stand! Just say no!

Be you and stay true to who you are.

Wheewww!! This is a mouthful right here. How could I stay true to who I was when half the time I didn’t know who I was? You have to peel away all the layers of other people’s opinions, comparisons, trying to uphold an image, pretending, wanting to fit in. Peel it all away and there you are. This is a constant reminder. Again if it does not feel right then say no! Don’t allow anyone or anything to change who you are. Be you. Stay true.

Hug your loved ones tight.

I wish I hugged my parents, siblings and friends more when I was in my teenage years. Not a church hug! But an actual 2 minute long embrace! There were times when I was away from home I would need someone to hug me and allow me to cry on their shoulders. because I was lost! I lost who I was and I needed someone to embrace me and let me know that they had me and I was going to be ok. A good hug renews you and give you hope to push forward.

Ask for help.

I was the type of person who would do it all by myself out of fear of looking like a failure. I wanted to look like I had it all together and I didn’t need help. What a flop. ASK FOR HELP! You don’t have to uphold this fake front just to look like somebody. Be honest with yourself, especially if you are struggling. Asking for help does not make you look like a failure, loser or weak. It shows strength that you understand you can’t do it all alone. We need each other.

Don’t settle.

You deserve nothing but the best! Things weren’t always perfect and you weren’t always right but you deserved so much more than what you accepted. Settling was the easy way out. It allowed me to produce results quicker in a shorter amount of time. But….looking back I see where I settled, where I allowed lack, and where I just went with the flow. It’s all about knowing what you’re worth. So much more!

Even after saying all these things, I have to strive daily to not allow my past to repeat itself. I know now and since I know better, I do better. I’m very thankful for growth and understanding. I truly believe that without growing into who I am today I would not have been able to list any of these important aspects. So wherever you are in your life, whether take some of my advice, or not, you’ll end up having your own list of advice one day.